Here is a paper I wrote about my soul mate Sara! the girls thought I should upload it :)
so here goes...
We've
all heard them. The horror stories. The crazy roommates, the naked roommates,
and the absolute freak roommates. All one can do is pray that the roommate
chosen meets a basic norm of society.
It's not that they need to be a best friend, and it's certainly not that they need to be
the ultimate human being. All one can hope for is the average; someone who can
live by your side- maybe without even speaking- for just one year. For some,
it's the luck of the draw, and for others, it's destiny. One wonders though,
"how am I going to know?", but let's face the truth, when judgment
day comes and that sorry chosen human is sent to us, aside from frantically
refreshing the email page 100 times until finally seeing the very heading you
are looking for reading, "Augie Roommate", you immediately open the
tab to Facebook and do as much creeping as humanly possible to see just were you
lie on the luck scale of the world. And with high hopes, you are either greeted
kindly, or crushed, with life ceasing to exist as you know it.
Expecting to live the horror story,
I flustered through these steps. I expected to meet a girl that strives to be a
real life cat on a daily basis, complete with sewn-in tails to every outfit,
and a few different styles of cat ears, or the excessive drug abuser with the tattoo
"No Ragrets" plastered on her chest, but instead I was greeted with
what I thought to be a stuck-up cheerleader, band freak. I was judging what I saw based on the
stereotypes I'd made from high school without bothering to think of changing
the schemas I'd already formed. It's the classic tale of judging a book by its
cover, lucky for me however, the Iowans are a bit different than the
Nebraskans.
My perception of Sara was as
follows; she wore those perfect cheerleader bows, the ones that take up about
half of the back of the head, with the perfectly perm pressed cheerleader
uniform, and had pompoms glued to her hands. She had perfectly posed pictures
that gave the vibe of her owning the world. It was as if she lived a perfect
life with perfect friends, and the perfect family in which mommy and daddy pay
for everything. Don't get me wrong, it seemed like she had the dream life and
yet I hated her for it. The cognitions I had for the stereotypical group of
cheerleaders at my high school were impacting the cognitions I was now forming
about Sara. The only cheerleaders I had ever known were ones that I would never
want to be friends with. They were cliquey, gossipy, and back stabbing. They
went through "friends" like toilet paper and didn't give a care in
the world about anyone but themselves. Most discouragingly though, the only
cheerleaders I'd ever known were just plain stupid, some in the "I'm
cute", "look at me", kind of way, and some were just idiots. That
was the deal breaker for me, the one thing I'm not sure I could live with for a
whole year. Some say it horrible of me to have these pre-formed ideas based
just on the fact that I had a cultural myopia, a nearsightedness that my own
culture was relevant to all situations, but as far as I was concerned, Sara
would be no different than what I already knew to be true.
Then with just the click of a button she
seemed to completely switch worlds in a picture that showed her in the ever so
cute band uniform with the shoes that even my grandma shouldn't be wearing, and
the adorable hats with the tassel that hangs straight down the front. The best
part of that band uniform though, was the pleated overall pants that give the
adorable assumption of wearing a diaper. She was holding her little flute and
standing with perfect posture as to say she thought she was cool and band was
the best thing ever. From my high school, the stereotypical band kids thought
they ruled the school. They thought people came to football games simply to watch
the band march at half time, and they were kids who, even if not good, would
make it known to the world just how talented they thought they were. Most of
them had some issue with personal hygiene, finding it okay to go days on end
without a shower, and for some reason they had an obsession with ugeo cards. At
my school, these people were freaks, and it would be virtually impossible to be
part of both the marching band and the cheerleading squad. The unfortunate
class system that has been put into place would not allow for any such nonsense;
heaven forbid someone actually be talented at two different things.
The universe had spoken and placed
in my life for one grueling year was this completely abstract person. She came
from two opposite sides of the universe in my book, neither of which I was
particularly excited about. Intriguing, I'll give her that, after all, it's not
everybody that could be accepted by both worlds. But then, the questions came
flooding in, "would she shower regularly?", "would she be back
stabbing?", "would she be obsessed with ugeo cards?",
"would she be stupid and peppy, the most deadly of all
combinations?", these are the things I needed to know but dreaded to find
out for fear of the worst.
Then, the first email came, a channel
of communication, though vague, was very comfortable for strangers. The email was the typical cordial kind of communication, the kind in which you can tell hardly anything
about the person. The first few interactions were formless but altogether
friendly, maybe even fake. She seemed nice enough, no rude hidden remarks that
I could tell anyway, but then again, how much can you really tell from reading
a screen. As for me, she had not even experienced a taste of the wittiness and
sarcasm I display on a daily basis. As we exchanged emails and discussed the
details of our room alone, however, we both seemed to be on the same page. Our
ideas were similar and oddly, we seemed to agree on what was to become of our
humble abode. It wasn't until a while later that we exchanged numbers and
started opening up little by little. Then the day came, I cracked my first
joke.
Not only was this joke over text,
but also to a near stranger. Cracking a
joke was a daring move on such forbidden ground. As soon as I sent the joke, I
immediately regretted it for the obvious reason of her not getting it. Not only did Sara get my sarcasm and laugh, at
least over text, but she threw the sarcasm right back at me. I was astonished
but more than that, I was relieved. It's not everybody that can be sarcastic
over text and pick up on the tone; It is a true gift sent only from the Gods.
This had become my lucky day, and at least behind the channel of hidden communication,
Sara was okay.
With at least a little liberation of
being able to dislodge the "absolute freak" card, all I could do now
was wait for the true test- move in day. When this day came, Sara had moved in
by the time I got there, but walking in the half made up room I could already
tell I was going to be in good hands. My first inkling was the movie selection
she had including my favorite movie of all time, Footloose. My second hunch,
the array of pintrest projects she'd completed for our new dwelling, like she
had read my mind, as I too had created many crafts from pintrest. All at once I had the gut feeling that even if
not perfect, my situation was going to be okay. And as Sara walked in the room,
fate took its toll as the first words out of both of our mouths were cynicism
towards how "fantastic" the dorms were. Looking for those judgments
I'd already made about her, or any inkling as to the freak I thought she was, the
first conversations came naturally, with a border of awkwardness, as we
introduced ourselves and discussed our room.
It didn't take long, but seeing us
now, you would think we'd known each other our whole lives. We fall under the
category of "destined roommates" and the luck of the world was
thankfully on my side. In this one case
only, my prior judgments dislodged easily. Sara has proven to be the opposite
of all contemptuous conclusions I'd drawn, and my new, more accurate,
perceptions are as follows; Sara has an ireplicable heart of gold, although
just as, if not more, cynical and sarcastic than myself, she is never cruel or
vindictive. Her compassion towards others is inspiring and contagious, and her
ambition to pursue her goals has me
yearning for the unknown in my own life. She has a spunky personality that can
bring a smile on every persons face when she walks in the room- something I
might attribute to her cheerleading life. She is so musically gifted, with the
voice of an angel and the talent and passion one can only dream of, but you
would never know because of her empowering state of humility. My pre conceived
ideas about this stranger were undoubtedly incorrect. We are more alike than
sometimes either of us would care to be from interests, to family, to the
attractive pajama pants we wear to bed, but, we wouldn't have it any other way.
I have learned how deceiving a stereotype can be as stereotypes don't always
apply in every environment. I think it is still important to have a keen sense
of awareness for those you meet as it is an important way to distinguish the
good ones from the bad ones, but to not let the perceptions you have formed
blind you from something incredible. You can never tell what someone is like
from a picture and I need to work on not judging people by their appearance. Lucky
for me, I got both the best friend and the ultimate human being in one packaged
deal.
